If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
well you can't waste a boner
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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