Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
