Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
is wine microwaveable?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize