well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
