I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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