You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
