before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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