no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
How does it feel to date your dad?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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