I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
from now on my penis is your penis
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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