I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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