Yo dont text me then not text me
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I would fuck him just for his dog
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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