You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
