Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
