Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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