Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
