you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I am mentally ready for anal.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
