Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize