"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
