You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
