He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
