other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
