Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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