I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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