i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
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I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
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For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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