entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
