i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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