I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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