SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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