I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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