Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
