...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
