Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
In America we eat man semen.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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