there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
