No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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