Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
