i already hear my dad disowning me
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
