Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
