he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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