I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We left the knife in your bed.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
