They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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