my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
