i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Randomize
