singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
