I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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