Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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