Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
