the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
