I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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