just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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