i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
