You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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