it wasn't lemon gatorade
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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