I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize