come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
