yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
