My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
