I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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