some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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