I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
