That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
