I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
