That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he fucked my hip out of place.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
