My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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