The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
