I wanna passion pit in your ass
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
