Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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