so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
