Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize